Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It's almost an hour past midnight and I'm still wide awake. I really should be sleeping by now for I have an early day tomorrow. But it seems no matter what I do, I just can't sleep. I can hear the clock tickin' and the silence makes me want to scream. I've been trying so hard to ignore these feelings, for the past months I feared about confronting my heart... but I guess, I cannot prolong the agony anymore.

My heart is breaking and thoughts of you are racing through my head. Love is the last thing I need right now. I thought I already succeeded in forgetting about you but then why does my heart still longs for you? I thought that time will let me heal the broken heart you caused me, but I guess there are deep wounds that even time cannot heal.

I know it wasn't your fault. I was the only one to blame. I cannot make your heart love me and I just can't force you to feel the same way. Maybe I'm just not the one for you but you are definitely the one for me...

I'm not sure about where these feelings will take me but all I know is that maybe someday, it'll still be the two of us...

Till then.

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11:23 PM | 3 comments

I see the way you care for her, the way you talk to her, the way your face lit up whenever she’s around. I feel the way you love her, and its making me sad. I wanna be happy for you just like any good friend should feel but I can’t help but thinking what if I was the one, could you be any happier? There’s nothing I can do, I am just a friend who is willing to love you, to care for you and I can’t go on pretending that I’m not hurting because your heart didn’t choose to love me. Is this how our story ends? Believe me, I tried fighting these feelings, tried to hide it but I guess it’s too late now I am in love with you, my best friend.

If I was the one you love. There’ll be no more tears of sorrow, only tears of joy. If I was the one by your side, you’ll never have a lonely night. If I was the arms you were embracing, I’ll give you so much love you’ll never ask for more. If I was the one in your life, I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful our lives would be. If I could just have one wish, I’d wish you were mine. I would hold you near, kiss away your tears and love you like no other. You are the one for me, can I be the one for you?

You will never be mine. I guess it is simply not meant to be. She is there in your life and she holds your heart. The lonely nights I spent alone while you share your nights with her, this ain’t feel right. A friend is all you can see in me and I try to be just a friend but my heart knows otherwise you are more than just a friend to me. My heartbreaks every time you talk about her, my heart bleeds when you run to me and seek for advice. Am I betraying our friendship knowing that deep inside my heart I am wishing that you see me the way you see her.

If only I could be the one for you like you are the one for me. If I could just ask Cupid to make you love me, if I can be more than just a friend to you. I want to be beside you, to be near you, to reach you. Sometimes I wanna scream "I Love You" out loud. There are times I pray, that I’ll find the strength to tell you all the feelings that I try to hide. The raging emotions that’s been bursting in my head and hurting my heart. We are just friends and that’s enough for me. I’ll rather have your friendship than have nothing at all. But still I can’t help but wondering all the could’ve been if I was the one in your life.


11:13 PM | 0 comments

It seems lately I have been longing for a lost love... I hate to cling on to memories and I don't want to let myself be drown with a love that's no longer mine. I really thought I am completely over him, I always believed that I had moved on and had forgotten him then why am I suddenly missing him... I don't think I still love him, it just can't be..

I guess, it's only right to miss him once in a while, after all he used to be a big part of my life and although I am trying so hard not to feel any regrets that we're no longer together a part of me just wants to turn back time and have him once again...

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11:11 PM | 2 comments