Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I'm still experiencing blogger's block and I'm just not inspired to write anything. I was going through old pages of my diary and found this entry almost five years ago and I just thought of sharing it...
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After I broke up with my ex boyfriend four years ago, I really thought that I have totally let go of him that I’ve finally accepted that it was really over between us. I was already doing fine without him. But I knew that a part of me still hasn’t forgiven him. I’ve gotten used to the fact that we weren’t together any longer and maybe we wont be anymore. And today I’ve finally said my final goodbye and truly forgiven him and myself. Now, I believe that time can really heal all wounds and today I’ve found healing by watching the man I used to love getting married to the girl I caught him cheating with, to the girl who ruined my two-year relationship with this man, to the girl I used to be friends with. For so long, I was so furious at them. Thinking fate was indeed so unfair to me. Why do they have to be happy while I felt so miserable? At that time, I just couldn’t understand it. I’ve spent two years of my life with this man, we even went as far as thinking we could spend the rest of our lives together. And I honestly thought, he was the one… Again, I was very wrong!

Today as I watched them exchanging their wedding vows, I was expecting to feel a little pain, a little hatred, a little disgust but amazingly enough all I could feel was absolute gladness… I am genuinely happy for them, now I knew why I was sent to him, so that he could meet that someone he was destined to share his life with. Everybody who knew that I was the ex-girlfriend was surprised that I even showed up, they're expecting me to make a scene, to shout in the middle of the ceremony and say “stop the wedding” but I was sincerely smiling all throughout and I just felt so good, that finally I have let go and had forgiven them.

After the ceremony, I greeted the newly-weds and kissed my ex goodbye. And he hugged me and said thank you, I saw the relief on his face, they both knew why I showed up into their wedding that I have totally accepted that we weren’t meant for each other and I had given them my forgiveness and my blessing. And now, he is just someone that I used to love and it felt great to actually know that I am completely healed by those wounds and the last chapter of that part of my life has finally ended. I am thankful that I finally had the closure I needed.

I always knew that everything happens for a reason. That God allows all the intersections and the humps in our lives to help us learn. I knew that somehow God has greater plans for my life. And the road that leads me to my path is just about to start. I wont lose track for I know that the light that guides me will never forsake me. I have loved and lost. I am uncertain of what the future holds for me but I know that it’ll be something wonderful. God after all is a God of true wonders.


Sept.12, 2002

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10:29 PM |

6 Comments:

At 12:27 AM, Blogger miss kurdapya said........
hala sister! dapat pinupukpok ka! at ginagawan ng monumneto! aba! nag attend ka pa ng wedding nila.. haay!SALUDO AKO SAYO! di ko kaya ng powers mo..

well, as i've always said before I really do believe in destiny.If youre not meant for each other no matter how you handle your relationship they will come a time that you both will seperate because you're not meant to be.

Dadating din si MR. SUPER RIGHT SA ATIN DALAWA!!!!
 


At 11:18 AM, Blogger Lara Angelina said........
You know, the important thing is that you keep writing -- no matter what it is! Somehow, you'll get past your block if you just keep trying every day!
 


At 4:30 PM, Blogger Emmyrose said........
@kurdapya, whoa that's funny :) your comments really put a smile into my face.

yeah, dadating din si mr.super right, naisip ko lang paano kung si mr.super left na naman hehe
 


At 4:30 PM, Blogger Emmyrose said........
@Lara,

Thank you, I really hope I could find an inspiration to write again. :)
 


At 4:08 PM, Blogger Lazarus said........
such a rare and courageous act!
 


At 9:40 PM, Blogger Emmyrose said........
Thanks Lazarus :)