Sunday, October 07, 2007

"If by age 28 and we're both still single,
we'll marry each other"

Sounds familiar? Yeah, it was taken from my one of my favorite movie "My Bestfriend's Wedding" I watched it in 1997 and I had no idea back then that it would make such a big impact on my life...

H (name withheld for personal reasons) and I met in 1998, we became very good friends ever since.. yeah, its a classic "friends in love" story and for so long I have been in love with my best friend. I cannot recall how many sleepless nights I spent crying every time he's with someone else. My feelings were kept unspoken, for I fear that I might lose him if he had any knowledge of how I feel towards him, I'd rather be his friend than to be nothing to him. I treasured every stolen moments we had and broke my heart every time he had to choose someone else over me.. I tried to always be there for him, to be a good friend like he is to me but all the while I've been silently wishing that he see me for more than just a friend and I've been praying for him to love me too.

It was in the year 2000 when we both came out from a nasty relationship and we were so melodramatic one night that we probably had too much to drink that he said these words to me...

"If you're 28 & I'm 30 and we're both still single, we'll marry each other"

I looked him and it felt like all the alcohol drained from my system and I suddenly became sober and said..

"Sure"

After that we never talked about it and although I assumed that he was probably too drunk to even remember that, I was half expecting that he was serious about it...

Years had passed by and we were still the best of friends. I have been used with the idea that we will just be "forever friends" so I slowly learned to forget my feelings for him. I successfully fell out of love and he was now truly just my best friend. I was already doing fine with someone else and my heart no longer aches for him...

Months before my 28th birthday, we were in his car and he said to me..

"Do you remember that night, when we got so drunk and I told you that if you're 28 and we're both still single we'll marry each other??"

I stared at him and laughed..

"yeah, I remember that was stupid"

He looked at me and said..

"why is it stupid?"

"We say stupid & crazy stuff when we're drunk"

I said, looking away.

"We're not drunk now.."

He replied.

I don't know if I've been watching too much movies that my life suddenly became a scene from a movie but that was the start of a complicated relationship. I thought I could be happy that finally after the long wait the dream of having him is finally coming true. I honestly thought that all my feelings for him will return and I won't have a hard time loving him again. I was wrong!

Why is it we wish for something we so badly want that we cannot have?

And once the time comes that you finally find your wishes coming true, you'll suddenly realize that this is not what you want. I guess sometimes, we just need to be careful on what to wish for... it might just come true.

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11:58 PM |

3 Comments:

At 3:19 AM, Blogger Miss Kurdapya said........
my gosh! heard of those lines before, nakakakilig ang moments niyo sa car!.. pero, with me at the age of 38, it's been 20 years already when he told me about it and i got 2 years to go! still, we're both single! hahaha!

and he just remind it to me last night!.

Malay mo sister! siya na ang destiny mo! Don't close your doors. baka dumating ang time akala mo hindi hindi dumaan si destiny sayo yun pla, napalampas mo na..:)
 


At 12:31 PM, Blogger Emmyrose said........
Hay naku sister, long story kme nyan masilamuot kumbaga :)
 


At 4:56 AM, Anonymous Isabelle aka Tricotine said........
That is a beautiful but sad story...

Good luck!