Friday, February 22, 2008

Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person
we love without wanting to.
Though that doesn’t mean that
we've stopped loving them
or we've stopped to care.
Sometimes goodbye is
a painful way to say I love you...

When I met you, I never really thought that we could end up this way. You are just the bestfriend of my boyfriend, and you eventually became my bestfriend. You and I went through a lot, you saw me at my best and at my worst. If there’s anyone that I could say who knows me inside out that would be you. You know my tantrums, my mood swings and even my dominance and stubbornness. I could easily just pour my heart on you and just be myself. I remembered the time when my parents split up, you were there as I let the tears run dry. When I graduated from college, you were there to celebrate with me. When I was looking for my first job, you were there patiently waiting... As I look back, I find you in every major event in my life, like I always say you are my North Star, the only constant in my life. I can’t remember exactly the time that I first realize that I am falling in love with you, what I do remember was I try to hide my feelings, tried to suppress whatever love I’m feeling for you because I don’t want to ruin the special friendship that we have. But eventually, from friends to lovers, we were a picture of an ideal couple, a match made in heaven and when you asked me to spend the rest of our lives together, that was one moment that I will never forget. It sounds too good to be true, more like a dream and I thought it would stay that way. But the unknown villain came in the picture, Lupus... Now, my semi-charmed life was ruin and it has changed me in anyway possible. During those times that I was battling with my sickness, you never left my side even though I tried so hard to push you away, you were still there. Everyone said that I’m lucky, that I can never find anyone like you anymore. You told me, you were willing to wait no matter how long it takes, that you’ll gonna take care of me and I should have just let you do all that but I didn’t I decided to let you go. I wanted you to let me go, for your own sake. I just don’t want to drag you into the uncertainty of my illness and suffer with me. Call it self-pity or whatever I just did what I thought would be the best for us. Love was never the question, I may have fallen for somebody else but in my heart there’s only you. I’m glad that after a long while, you’ve decided to let me go and we just have to accept that as sad as it may seem, we were just never meant to be. I don’t know what the future hold, I’m not even sure what my heart really wants at this time but all I know is that you will always be my bestfriend, my North Star. I wish you well.

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10:06 PM |

2 Comments:

At 12:03 PM, OpenID sunshineforlife said........
ems, it's a wonderful and very touching letter. it made me cry. I can feel the tug of pain when i can read the words "we're just not meant to be" and "you'll always be the one" or "you're just the one."

i just feel am as romantic as you but you can express yourself in a nicer flow of words. :)

God bless you, ems.
 


At 1:17 PM, Anonymous gheian said........
hi. cant help to say some comments.
even if youre a stranger to me i can easily tell that youre a person with a good heart. sacrificing is the hardest thing to do but you get over it. i know God will grant you happiness and peace in His time. Hope you'll patiently wait.
Prayers for you sis. :)