Almost a few weeks ago when I decided to come along with my mom in Baguio, she was surprised because I don’t really wanted to go and since I just came back from Singapore the last thing she thought was me getting into another trip. But it was something that I needed to do, like I said on my other blog Blessed Chic, I needed to go to the mountains and seek help. Maybe at some point it felt like I was running away, maybe but what I really wanted to find a moment where I can be in touch with my inner self and talk to God. I needed to clear my mind and ease my heart. I was worried that I am becoming to be a cold-hearted person since I didn’t really feel anything after the love of my life decided to move on with his life. I felt numb and dead on the inside. I was supposed to be a hopeless romantic and a melodramatic person like me will have a field day on something like that but I felt nothing, I felt fine and that worries me. I did spend some moments alone in Baguio and the great scenery really helped me understand that maybe I am much stronger now that I can face just about anything and maybe I am not grieving for losing him because somehow I was already expecting it, I was hoping for it and I know for a fact that my heart is not mourning because it already belongs to someone else. But that’s another complication that I’m not ready to share at this moment. Being in the mountains gave me a deeper understanding that God is loving me more than I know and He is protecting me with all this pain and He carry me along in His heart, and just by knowing the extent of His love for me I feel more blessed than ever.
Have a reflective Lent to all of you.
Labels: personal
