An unexpected surprise...

This blog of mine has been in PR0 for such a long time and I've been neglecting this blog because personally, I am not that inspired to write anything about love and maybe I just don't like to deal with any love emotion at this point but there are things that I cannot say to anyone not even to my friends that I just feel the need to shout it out and that is what this blog is all about. I love this blog, this define my whole personality... a hopeless romantic who simply cannot let go of love itself.

After several months of hiatus, I am so surprised to find out that this blog ranks 3 in Google...



I am so delighted.

Labels: personal

My heart is broken once again… and the sad thing is I am the only one who knows about it. I cannot even tell anyone that I am hurting, I cannot let anyone know that I am in pain simply because no one knows that I am deeply in love with this man. Yes, I have a secret love… an unspoken feeling towards someone and I would rather die than to reveal to anyone that I am in love with him. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this, I know I shouldn’t even love him at all but what can I do, this foolish heart of mine just can’t be stopped. I honestly tried to avoid it, tried to ignore it, I even distanced myself from him but the further I try to stay away the more my feelings for him intensify. I’ve been in this road before, in fact I’ve been in this road so many times now but my stubborn heart just couldn’t learn. Love isn’t love until it is shared by two but I know in my heart that my love for him is enough for both of us. I did not expect us to be a couple, I did not even dream about us being together, although I wanted him to be THE ONE… my heart isn’t just ready to dream big, just to be close to him was more than enough for my happiness.

I had my share of little happiness, little cute moments together that maybe doesn’t mean a thing for him but means a lot for me. I thought that would be enough… Loving him in silence, I thought I’ll be alright with that but lately I am starting to realize that I shouldn’t be punishing myself in loving someone who can’t love me back. He may be the man of my dreams but clearly I am not the girl in his and I really believe that true love knows when it’s time to hold on and when it’s time to let go. Sad as it may seem but this is the time to let him go… maybe, just maybe this is just not the love for me just yet. Should I lose hope and turn my back from love? There’s a part of me that says, “Yes, I should ” that I should give up on love but I just know that I cannot… I am simply just a hopeless romantic and love will be on its way for me again very soon…

Labels: love, personal

It's the first day of June, how time really flies imagine we are now halfway of the year and I'm not sure if I should be sad or glad. June marks the start of school opening and although I am not a student anymore I am still excited to buy some school supplies and early this afternoon I saw some cool school furniture and I am also excited to start my volunteer work in teaching the Bible in public schools very soon.

Labels: miscellaneous, random

This is my mom and I, taken a few months back. Just like on my previous post she recently turned 60 and enjoying the benefits of being a senior citizen but I am blessed that my mom still looks young and she's healthy.

Yes, she already has a lot of gray hair and some of her wrinkles can no longer be concealed even on make-up and she may even try prototype 37c that can prevent wrinkles but what matters most is that she healthy and aging is just a natural process that everyone has to go through.

Labels: miscellaneous, random

My mom turned 60 last March and she is currently enjoying the benefits of being a senior citizen but although my mom still looks fabulous at 60, sometimes she says that aging really sucks and the transition is difficult as well. My mom is not trying to look young, she is proud of her looks at her age but still I caught her reading about human growth hormone a health supplement that can enhance the natural way of aging. Hmmm, I might as well search for it soon.

Labels: miscellaneous, random

I am thinking of venturing into a new business and I'm thinking since I love shopping online and I am mostly on the internet, it will be nice to have a shipping business... Most of my friends are into online shopping and already has an online store and one of our problems is shipping. I've been browsing some information on this and I found some great sites for industrial equipment that also has some shipping equipments. I need to learn more and find out if this business suits me well.

Labels: miscellaneous, random

I spent my midyear bonus in my mom's new glasses. She's been requesting to have her current eye glasses changed because she thinks it's been causing her headaches. I know how bad those headaches could be, I experienced that last year when I encountered some problems on my vision because of my prolonged steroids intake but I am thankful that I was able to find cheap prescription glasses that corrected my vision problems and now, I can see very clearly. It is nice to always find something that is helpful and something you can afford, right?

Labels: miscellaneous, random

I can't believe that this is my first entry in this blog after a very long time. Let me just say that maybe I've been too caught up with a lot of things that's been happening in my life and I've been avoiding certain love emotions... again... but I know that I cannot run from these feelings much longer, one way or another I have to let it out. How I wish our hearts can have a safety net just like in car insurance so that somehow when the time comes that it really hurts you can be assured that things could get better.

I should have known that love is such a complicated matter but one thing is for sure I never learn.

Labels: miscellaneous, random

It's almost an hour past midnight and I'm still wide awake. I really should be sleeping by now for I have an early day tomorrow. But it seems no matter what I do, I just can't sleep. I can hear the clock tickin' and the silence makes me want to scream. I've been trying so hard to ignore these feelings, for the past months I feared about confronting my heart... but I guess, I cannot prolong the agony anymore.

My heart is breaking and thoughts of you are racing through my head. Love is the last thing I need right now. I thought I already succeeded in forgetting about you but then why does my heart still longs for you? I thought that time will let me heal the broken heart you caused me, but I guess there are deep wounds that even time cannot heal.

I know it wasn't your fault. I was the only one to blame. I cannot make your heart love me and I just can't force you to feel the same way. Maybe I'm just not the one for you but you are definitely the one for me...

I'm not sure about where these feelings will take me but all I know is that maybe someday, it'll still be the two of us...

Till then.

Labels: love, personal

I see the way you care for her, the way you talk to her, the way your face lit up whenever she’s around. I feel the way you love her, and its making me sad. I wanna be happy for you just like any good friend should feel but I can’t help but thinking what if I was the one, could you be any happier? There’s nothing I can do, I am just a friend who is willing to love you, to care for you and I can’t go on pretending that I’m not hurting because your heart didn’t choose to love me. Is this how our story ends? Believe me, I tried fighting these feelings, tried to hide it but I guess it’s too late now I am in love with you, my best friend.

If I was the one you love. There’ll be no more tears of sorrow, only tears of joy. If I was the one by your side, you’ll never have a lonely night. If I was the arms you were embracing, I’ll give you so much love you’ll never ask for more. If I was the one in your life, I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful our lives would be. If I could just have one wish, I’d wish you were mine. I would hold you near, kiss away your tears and love you like no other. You are the one for me, can I be the one for you?

You will never be mine. I guess it is simply not meant to be. She is there in your life and she holds your heart. The lonely nights I spent alone while you share your nights with her, this ain’t feel right. A friend is all you can see in me and I try to be just a friend but my heart knows otherwise you are more than just a friend to me. My heartbreaks every time you talk about her, my heart bleeds when you run to me and seek for advice. Am I betraying our friendship knowing that deep inside my heart I am wishing that you see me the way you see her.

If only I could be the one for you like you are the one for me. If I could just ask Cupid to make you love me, if I can be more than just a friend to you. I want to be beside you, to be near you, to reach you. Sometimes I wanna scream "I Love You" out loud. There are times I pray, that I’ll find the strength to tell you all the feelings that I try to hide. The raging emotions that’s been bursting in my head and hurting my heart. We are just friends and that’s enough for me. I’ll rather have your friendship than have nothing at all. But still I can’t help but wondering all the could’ve been if I was the one in your life.

Labels: love

It seems lately I have been longing for a lost love... I hate to cling on to memories and I don't want to let myself be drown with a love that's no longer mine. I really thought I am completely over him, I always believed that I had moved on and had forgotten him then why am I suddenly missing him... I don't think I still love him, it just can't be..

I guess, it's only right to miss him once in a while, after all he used to be a big part of my life and although I am trying so hard not to feel any regrets that we're no longer together a part of me just wants to turn back time and have him once again...

Labels: love, personal

Is your home protected from robberies or even fire? We can never really foresee the awful things that could happen to our cherish home and we must always be secured that if anything happen to it we can still be protected. It is important to have a home insurance that will help you have a peace of mind and sleep soundly as we all needed.

Labels: miscellaneous, random