Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I was a bit hesitant to share this photo to the blogging world, well for starters I really don't look good in here but this may not be one of my best photo but it certainly is the most memorable one.

Taken exactly two years ago, when I fell into coma and was sent to the ICU wing of the hospital. That experience changed who I am today, it taught me a lot of things that I am grateful for and if there is one defining moment in one's life, this is mine.


I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, that God allows even our darkest hour to bring us into the light. God is a God of second chances and I can only bring back the glory to Him by sharing to everyone how God marveled in my life during those nights at the ICU.

September 26, 2005 - I was admitted to the hospital for my second session of chemo therapy, I was actually relaxed and even brought my laptop with me. Everything went well the first time that’s why I didn’t worry that much. I was actually getting used to the pain from the needle shots and I was even texting to my cancer-patient friend whom I met during my first chemo session, she was encouraging me and gave me advice that whenever the needles touches my skin to let my mind drift and wander to wherever I wanna be, just to forget about the pain and I comforted myself by the thought that it will be over soon.


But that night, I don’t exactly know what happened but I fell into coma and almost died. I remember I was half conscious but everything was blurred, I can hear voices, screaming and crying. The medical staff was in chaos and the next thing I knew I’m at the ICU of the hospital, the nurses told me that I was unconscious for almost 18 hours and its a miracle that I am awake. I called for my mom but they say I can’t see her until the allowed visiting time, I was terrified there were tubes everywhere connected to my body and there was an oxygen tube in my nostrils… I can’t move and I want to know what’s going on.


Why am I here?


My heart monitor kept on making an alarming sound, they said that my heart is so weak and my pulse is falling. But I feel fine and I wanna go home. I didn’t understand then what was happening, they just wouldn’t tell me anything and not knowing kills me more. I’m the kind of person who hates surprises, I want to know everything and I want everything to be according to my plan. And lying there helplessly at the ICU bed was not part of my plan and I found myself asking God, trying to spill out what He wants from me.

I spent five days at the ICU, going through a lot of painful medical procedures and many times I was surrounded by an overwhelming silence, almost deafening. I have been a born again christian for most of my life, there was no doubt in my mind that God exists but during those times I had a fall out from my church, I was so angry with God and everyone else that I kept my distance to Him, it even came to the point that I stopped praying but at that moment God used my brokenness, called me again into His arms and I just felt like I'm home. I often told myself that I am not lost, I know my way and I know which way to go but I just had a pause, maybe I got stuck from somewhere and somehow drifted away. But that experience revived me, it literally brought me back to life and I can only thank and praise God for giving me another shot in life.

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2:56 PM |

11 Comments:

At 3:11 PM, Blogger Mel Avila Alarilla said........
Yes indeed, to God be the glory. Everything that happened to you must have a purpose since God allowed them to happen. As it is, you have become a powerful witness for the Lord to bring lost souls at the feet of His throne until His final desire is completed and that is, "that none should perish." God bless you my friend with all His graces and blessings.
 


At 5:12 PM, Blogger .: jackie :. said........
keping your faith in Him is the medicine that healed your wound.

Ate emz, ure always in my prayers. everything will be fine.
 


At 5:14 PM, Blogger .: jackie :. said........
*keeping rather.
 


At 6:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said........
You dont know how much your post have touched my heart. Bless you dear one for such an honest and sincere outpouring of God's power through your life. Continue to be a blessing to every one
 


At 3:14 AM, Blogger Miss Kurdapya said........
Sis, I just don't know what to write here.. you really touched my heart with your article today.

I'm so happy that you're ok now and God used you as His instrument to touched others heart and life, so that we could realized that nothing is impossible with HIM.
 


At 1:20 PM, Anonymous keeyit said........
We should feel thankful for every minutes that we live. God bless you.
 


At 4:21 PM, Blogger kegler747 said........
I'm glad that you're ok now :) take care and God bless!
 


At 12:21 AM, Blogger Emmyrose said........
Thank you all so much for your comments.

God truly is a wonderful God!
 


At 8:41 AM, Blogger Rosemarie said........
ohh emmyrose u just touch my heart. and yes u right GOD is wonderful.
 


At 9:46 PM, Blogger Emmyrose said........
Thank you Rosemarie :)
 


At 10:59 PM, Anonymous Ah Bong said........
so glad it is all over