Sometimes love is like waiting for a bus.

When the bus comes, you look at it and you say to yourself "eeee... so full... cannot sit down, I'll wait for the next one." So you let the bus go and waited for the second bus. Then the second bus came, you looked at it you said, "eeee...this bus is so old...so shabby!" So you let the bus go and again, decided to wait for the next bus.

After a while another bus came, it's not crowded, not old but you said, "eeee...not air conditioned... better wait for the next one." So again you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus.

Then the sky started to get dark as it was getting late. You panicked and jumped immediately inside the next bus. It is not until much later that you found out that you had boarded the wrong bus! And you wasted your time and money just to get into the wrong one!

Even if an air-conditioned bus comes, you can't ensure that the air-conditioned bus won't break down or whether or not the air conditioner will be too cold for you.

Wanting to get what you want is not wrong. But it wouldn't hurt to give other people a chance. If you find that the "bus" doesn't suit you just press the red button and get off the bus! Hey, who said life is fair??? The best thing to do is be observant and open-minded. If it doesn't suit you, get off.

I'm sure you've had this experience before. You saw a bus coming (the bus you want of course). You flagged it but the driver acted as if he did not see you and zoomed pass you! It just wasn't meant for you!

The bottom line is, being loved is like waiting for a bus you want. Getting on the bus and appreciating the bus by giving it a chance depends totally on you. If you haven't made any choice, WALK!

Walking is like being single. The good side of it is you can still choose any bus you want... the rest who couldn't afford another ride would just have to be content with the bus they rode on, ugly or not.

Also, sometimes it is better to choose a bus you are already familiar with rather than to gamble with a bus that is unfamiliar to you. But then again, life wouldn't be complete without the risks involved.

But there is one bus that I failed to tell you about. The Bus you do not have to wait for, the Bus that will stop on its own and ask you if you wish to come inside, then take you for a joy ride for the rest of your life.

Hope you get to ride on that bus!

God said: "Build a better world."

I said: "How? The world is such a complicated, cold, dark place and there is nothing I can do."

But God said: "Just build a better you."

Labels: love

When we get hurt, sometimes it helps to just turn back for awhile and walk away... It gives us a moment to regain strength and clear our minds to help us deal with the pain.

There are times that I need to be alone with my thoughts and somehow reflect on what's going on with my life. I have to admit that I often, turn my back and never look back. Its as if I'm escaping the pain and maybe I am but the thing is heartaches has always been a part of me that I've learned to swallowed it like a bitter pill.

There's a cloud of sorrow that's been hanging over me and many times I just want to break down and cry. I don't know if this is just part of my Lupus disease but loneliness has been creeping inside of me and I don't even understand why.

Have you ever wondered why, everything was so simple when we were young and as we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll get haunted by a love that you can never seem to let go. You'll cry because time is passing by too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

I don't usually look back for I don't want to grieve over the past for no matter what I do its already gone. I don't want to worry and carry what was already lost and I remember a quote I read a long time ago.. "Never look back, unless you're planning to go that way..." and I certainly don't want to find myself back into that place again.

Life is short. Let's not live with regrets and make a visual memory of everything. Take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Don't look back on sorrows, leave it where it belongs for everyday is a new day to begin.

Labels: letting go, love, personal

I am deeply touched upon reading that my blogger friend Sasha awarded me an

Labels: Blog Awards, personal

Written almost five years ago.. just wanna share it with you..

In the past year, I’ve lost a lot. Things have dramatically changed in my life that now I somehow feel lost. I remember a professor in college once told our class that the only constant thing in this world is change, and that every human must be equipped with these changes. I know for a fact that He was telling the truth but I must admit that I’ve always had a hard time coping up with change, I constantly wanted things to stay the way they are. As time passes by, I found myself in a relentless battle of wanting to turn back time and go on living in the past. I try not to have many regrets in my life, because despite everything I am quite thankful for the experiences that contributed to who I am today.

It’s been two years since I graduated from college and bumping with an old friend reminded me of how much I miss that part of my life. When life was still so simple, I miss just hanging around a friend’s dorm and the endless chatting. It’s amazing how things could change in just two years. I was doing great after college, I found a great job, a wonderful family, my friends can still hang out and I’ve got somebody who loves me. It may seem to you that I got everything. Yes, I think did! I was on my road to success and the future ahead looks so promising. I almost got everything I wanted for my life and I thought it would stay that way. It turns out I was very wrong.

You can never really realize how God can change all things in just a snap, in a blink of an eye… It all happened in one morning when I woke up with fever and can’t feel my body from waist down, I can hardly move. No amount of medical explanation can make me understand what happened to me. I was diagnosed to have a rare disease that even with the modern technology can’t quite explain how and why I got it. For six months, I battled for this sickness and depression found its way on me. I was terrified, I am only 24 yrs old how can it be happening to me? I often ask God, why does it have to be me? What have I done to deserve this? I was living an almost perfect life, then why all this? There were so many nights that all I could do was cry and I wanted so much to hate God for allowing me to suffer. During the sickness, I have to quit my job, I couldn’t go anywhere because I couldn’t walk, I stopped seeing my friends for I don’t want them to take pity on me, I lost the love of someone whom I thought was the one for me, I lost a father and amidst all that I somehow lost myself.

You would say that it’s enough reason for me to be angry with God but I’m not, I can’t be mad to the One I owe everything with, to the One who had blessed me with such wonderful things. But I knew that my life will never be the same, I will never be the same. Somewhere between the anguish, the hopelessness and the pain made me drift away to the way I used to be. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss myself the most. How do I find me? Where should I start? And sometimes I wonder if I wanted the old me to be found.

Slowly, I’m getting back on track. I got my job back, reunited with some old friends and enjoying with newfound buddies and a new me. Am I happy? Hmm, I’m getting there, but there are still times that I wished that things didn’t have to change. It still brings me to tears and sleepless nights. I have so much to be thankful for, this is my second chance in life and I may still screw up from time to time but one thing I learned from the past was… everything happens for a reason, for a purpose and we may not truly comprehend why it was brought to us, perhaps it is simply meant to be. God knew that I was losing my path towards Him that’s why He made sure that I’d come back into His arms. There was no way that I could have predicted the future and there is nothing I can do to bring back the past, so I might as well live my life each day as it comes.

Finding me… Nah, I don’t have to. I am already found!

By: Emmyrose©

July 27, 2002

Labels: Inspirational, lupus, personal

During the past few weeks I'm not really feeling well. Maybe I'm so used with the feeling of me being sick that I don't make a big fuss out of it anymore, I mean I try to tell everyone I'm okay but in reality I'm not. I just don't like it when everyone worries about me and I don't want to be such a burden anymore. I try to conceal my pain as much as I could and I don't whine about it, I just blog about it :-)

I've been saved from deathbed for three times (yeah, I'm just lucky God still wants me around) and in 2005 I was in the ICU for almost a week and no one thought I would live for another day, well, I'm still here and during those nights at the ICU I realized that life is short and I came up with a list to do before I die. Here are some of it...

Thirteen Things I Want To Do Before I Die 1. Learn to ride a bicycle. 2. Defy gravity and sky dive. 3. Watch the sunrise in Grand Canyon. 4. Go in a luxury cruise. 5. Swim with the dolphins. 6. Write and publish a book. 7. Create a website of my own. 8. Eat all you can ~ have all the chocolates I can savor without feeling any guilt. 9. Fall in love again. 10. Get married and have kids. 11. Sing solo on a stage. 12. Go island hopping in the Philippines. 13. Share to others the joy of having Jesus in my life and make them accept Jesus as their personal Savior.

Labels: meme, thursday thirteen

1. Situation :: sticky


2. Theme song :: Way Back Into Love
   


3. Kelly :: Clarkson


4. Club :: seventeen


5. Swerve :: in the road


6. Couch :: potato


7. Bigfoot :: snow


8. Arbitrary :: duh!


9. Inventor :: genius
   


10. Blazer :: hot

I don't think I made sense at all. Have a great Sunday!

Labels: meme

I guess this time it's really over...

I just can't go on pretending that this thing between us is actually gonna work.

Who am I kidding? It was a long shot right from the start and I was just a fool to believe that the time will come for both of us.. the time for us to finally be together. I guess, the reality was staring right in front of me but as the cliche' goes I was just too blind to see. But the truth is I just refused to see it.. I chose to live in a lie for I was too scared to face reality.

I just can't let you go even though I know I must. I just love you so much, the feeling is too strong, it hurts like crazy.

But I can't go on hurting forever, I know I must forget you and let you go, no matter how painful, no matter how heartbreaking it can be.

If I could just be with you one last time.. I'm gonna hold you tight and feel your warm embrace.. But I know I must stay away and its dangerous to be close to you I may weaken all my defenses and continue living with this lie.

You belong to her and I belong to another. That's the dilemma we have to face. I was willing to give us a chance, to end my 9-year relationship with someone else just to be with you but you told me you need more time to leave her... I waited, but somehow I feel like I'm only waiting in vain. I just can't wait much longer. I have to move on and forget you.

I didn't tell you goodbye, I just can't bear to utter those words to you but I've made up my mind, this has gone too far and it's time to end this thing between us.

Actually, there never was a "you and me" for quite a while it was only but a dream of "you and me" but that's the closest thing we'll ever be...

Labels: letting go, love

I've been restless and I've been purposely tiring myself with work so when the night comes I can easily fall asleep and I won't have time to think... But it's almost midnight and I haven't had a decent sleep for the past few nights and I really should be sleeping now. I'm exhausted and all I wanna do is lay down in my bed and close my eyes to sleep but *sigh* I don't know if its just my Lupus striking again or my insomnia attacking once more but I just can't sleep.

For the past few nights, I've been tossing and turning all night long trying so hard to avoid certain emotions that will only make me sad. But I guess this one's true..

Labels: personal

Have you ever wondered why some good things never last? Why do beginnings always have an end? Why is love so darn complicated?

These are few of the many questions that's been hanging on my mind and no matter how I try these questions are left unanswered. There are words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled. I guess, the story never ends after all.

In a relationship, one of the hardest thing to do is to say goodbye and to let go. It's like breaking a crystal, once broken you just know you’ll never be able to pick up the pieces again and you can never be whole again. More often than not, the one who left feel not the pain of parting, it is the who stayed behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of love that was not meant to be.

At the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that’s the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us even knowing why…and we must forget not because we want to but because we have to.

In letting go, sorrows come not as single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always remind you of him. It’s like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine there are four billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.

I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals wounds but it takes push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all wishes come true. Not all love stories end with “happily ever after.”

We hate to suffer if it would mean happiness to others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pain. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It’s something we can’t control, something we have to live up with.

It’s over, he’s gone. But life has to go on even without him. Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever.

There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere, somehow, someday there'll be a love that will be truly meant for us and we wont have to let go anymore.

Labels: letting go, love

Thirteen of my all-time Favorite TV Shows




Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Labels: meme, thursday thirteen

Is it just me or time flies so fast after June? Today, is the 4th of July and sooner or later "the Ber" months are just around the corner

It seems time is running me over and I just can't keep up! Everyday gets so busy and there's so much to do yet so little time, why is that?

After a week of feeling sick, last weekend I was at Enchanted Kingdom with my family. I'm not really a big fan of carnival rides, I have a fear of heights and I didn't really enjoyed myself but what the heck.. It wasn't my first time, I had forgotten how many times I have been there but I don't know why the place now seems smaller than I used to know, well nothing really changed perhaps its just me or I'm just not in the mood for fun just yet and I'm just not-so-enchanted.

Labels: personal