Sunday, September 30, 2007

I had a lazy rainy weekend but it was all fun and wonderful because I got to spend it with my family. Our family bonding moment is always with great food and a lot of "chikahan". And we are all happy for the newest addition to our growing happy family my niece (from a cousin) only 12 days old... Our little angel,

Kiara Francine



Isn't she a beauty?

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10:20 PM | 30 comments
I'm on my way to my grandma's house and I was just gonna check my mails and my blogs and I came across this absolutely good news...

PAYPAL IS NOW FULLY ACTIVATED IN THE PHILIPPINES!

It means that after a very long time every Filipino pro-bloggers wishes are finally coming true. Paypal is now available with full Send and RECEIVE feature. And I confirmed it here:

Philippines

Send funds without sharing your financial information.

Receive: Receive funds quickly from anyone with an email address in the 190 countries and regions that accept PayPal.

Withdraw: Withdraw funds from your PayPal account:
  • To your credit, debit, or prepaid card.
  • To your US bank account.
Make and receive payments in the currency you select. PayPal supports 16 currencies.

More updates soon! Have a blessed Sunday to all!

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11:39 AM | 8 comments
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Well, personally I love all my blogs and I'm delighted to know that a lot of people are liking my blog as well (thank you, bloggers) and Yenny gave me an early birthday gift by giving me this badge...

I Love Your Blog

Thanks Yen and I'm praying for your safe delivery soon.


Hope you'll spread the love to others too :)

I'm also sharing this badge to my two other blogs: Dancing With Butterflies and Pieces of Me

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11:31 PM | 8 comments

My brother and I have an 11-year age gap but we are very close. Since he is my baby brother, I took care of him and taught him his first ABC's, his first words were "chi-chi" my nickname which made my mother very jealous. I am very protective of him, I remember one time when he was in 2nd grade he came home crying with a bleeding nose and told me that his classmate was bullying him but he didn't fight back because we told him it was wrong to pick up a fight, the next day I went to his school scolded her teacher and warned the bully that hit my brother and made him cry... (yeah, I know I shouldn't have but I just couldn't help it) I'm a spoiler and I tend to give him almost whatever he wants. We rarely fight because my brother alone understands my tantrums and my mood swings (yeah, I'm a bit dominant and bossy).

When he went to the same high school as I did, he was always frustrated because he was always surrounded by my shadows and achievements. There was this instance that he failed Math and when I talked to his teacher, who was also my teacher back then the teacher said "oh he's your brother? but you were excellent in math" (yeah, I'm a bit brainy and never had a problem in my studies) I know my brother was pressured in a way because everyone was expecting him to be as good as I was, as popular as I was and he always told me that he can never be like me. I always told him that he doesn't have to, he must find his own path and I don't expect him to be just like me.

When I accompanied him for his college applications, I told him to take the course he wants and I won't be forcing him to take up engineering. I want him to excel in what he wants and I don't want him to go through what I went through when I was forced to take up engineering instead of becoming a journalist.

I have always been proud of him, he successfully walked passed through my shadows. He is now a certified rocker, he knows how to play the drums, bass & lead guitar. He's an excellent photographer, director and a brown-belter in Taekwondo. My baby is all grown up! Last night, he made a major breakthrough his concept for their radio advertisement for the 2nd Student Ad Congress won Gold. I'm delighted and happy for him, a wonderful birthday gift for him this Monday and truly I am very proud of him. I thank the Lord everyday for making him my brother.


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12:08 PM | 5 comments
Friday, September 28, 2007






Yay, I had a great Friday... I feel like screaming this Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket I think I need to back off from blogging a little and get in touch with my real world. And for the past two days, I did just that, I'm just sorry I missed Thursday Thirteen & Thankful Thursday but being away from my blogs gave me a chance to refresh. Yesterday, I had a general clean-up of the entire house and everybody thought there was something wrong with me (I hate doing household chores) okay, I admit I did not do all the dirty work but I delegate... I rearranged the furnitures & displays, changed the curtains, vacuum, and everything it was tiring but it was all worth it.

Today, I did a little shopping for our house, I noticed that our displays were out of style already and it's time to start my long list of Christmas shopping. As always, I had fun in the mall today and as I was waiting for my mom from the spa, the receptionist handed me something and said its a complimentary gift for my birthday. Whoa! Its a month before my birthday and this year, I'm turning thirty. A lot of unwanted thoughts came rushing to me and should I start to freak out now? I'll be turning thirty and I'm still single. The pressure to get married suddenly became too strong and its annoying!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket is my favorite month of the year. I've got a busy calendar ahead of me and I don't want those worries to ruin my festive mood.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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11:59 PM | 2 comments
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I was a bit hesitant to share this photo to the blogging world, well for starters I really don't look good in here but this may not be one of my best photo but it certainly is the most memorable one.

Taken exactly two years ago, when I fell into coma and was sent to the ICU wing of the hospital. That experience changed who I am today, it taught me a lot of things that I am grateful for and if there is one defining moment in one's life, this is mine.


I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, that God allows even our darkest hour to bring us into the light. God is a God of second chances and I can only bring back the glory to Him by sharing to everyone how God marveled in my life during those nights at the ICU.

September 26, 2005 - I was admitted to the hospital for my second session of chemo therapy, I was actually relaxed and even brought my laptop with me. Everything went well the first time that’s why I didn’t worry that much. I was actually getting used to the pain from the needle shots and I was even texting to my cancer-patient friend whom I met during my first chemo session, she was encouraging me and gave me advice that whenever the needles touches my skin to let my mind drift and wander to wherever I wanna be, just to forget about the pain and I comforted myself by the thought that it will be over soon.


But that night, I don’t exactly know what happened but I fell into coma and almost died. I remember I was half conscious but everything was blurred, I can hear voices, screaming and crying. The medical staff was in chaos and the next thing I knew I’m at the ICU of the hospital, the nurses told me that I was unconscious for almost 18 hours and its a miracle that I am awake. I called for my mom but they say I can’t see her until the allowed visiting time, I was terrified there were tubes everywhere connected to my body and there was an oxygen tube in my nostrils… I can’t move and I want to know what’s going on.


Why am I here?


My heart monitor kept on making an alarming sound, they said that my heart is so weak and my pulse is falling. But I feel fine and I wanna go home. I didn’t understand then what was happening, they just wouldn’t tell me anything and not knowing kills me more. I’m the kind of person who hates surprises, I want to know everything and I want everything to be according to my plan. And lying there helplessly at the ICU bed was not part of my plan and I found myself asking God, trying to spill out what He wants from me.

I spent five days at the ICU, going through a lot of painful medical procedures and many times I was surrounded by an overwhelming silence, almost deafening. I have been a born again christian for most of my life, there was no doubt in my mind that God exists but during those times I had a fall out from my church, I was so angry with God and everyone else that I kept my distance to Him, it even came to the point that I stopped praying but at that moment God used my brokenness, called me again into His arms and I just felt like I'm home. I often told myself that I am not lost, I know my way and I know which way to go but I just had a pause, maybe I got stuck from somewhere and somehow drifted away. But that experience revived me, it literally brought me back to life and I can only thank and praise God for giving me another shot in life.

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2:56 PM | 11 comments
Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I've got a busy day ahead of me and I'm just gonna grab lunch and start working on my deadline (wish me luck )

Anyway, I've received an email today from my college best friend who took a leap and moved to Singapore just a few weeks back and I'm glad that she's doing great. Although I miss her a lot, I'm glad that she's able to pursue her dreams. Another friend of mine is leaving for Singapore next month and it got me thinking, oh my they're all moving away and what the hell am I still doing here...

I don't wanna rant about the Philippines but a lot of my friends are now pursuing their dreams abroad and I can't say I blame them, there's nothing much going around here anyway. Six years ago, I was granted a scholarship to the US by the US based company where I used to work and I've got high hopes in pursuing my career and it has always been a dream of mine to live on my own in New York. Everything was all set, I was almost packed and I was so excited to live my dream but something came up... a disease called Lupus and my life took a 360 degree turn and now I'm stuck here!

Am I ranting? Maybe I am. I used to be sad about it, sometimes I still do but I have learned to accept that maybe God has a greater plan for my life and I still have no idea what is it but what the heck, I'm quite enjoying my life right now so whatever His plans are, maybe its working after all.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

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12:14 PM | 2 comments
Sunday, September 23, 2007


During my carefree and fearless days in college. I yearn for excitement and I'll never forget this weekend I had in 1999 with my graduating buddies. Water rafting at Mambuaya, Cagayan De Oro.. The inevitable rush and paddling your way into the wild river was such a marvelous experience.

I love to travel and I'm quite thankful that before I was stricken with Lupus I had a chance to experience a lot of things that I probably cannot do anymore. My life is almost like the rapids in this river.. unpredictable, exciting and sometimes scary but mostly fun. But after the rush and you have successfully finished the course one can always say... "Paddles UP!"


Have a great week ahead!

View other participants of Weekend Snapshots...

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10:14 PM | 25 comments
Its supposed to be just another ordinary day, a typical Sunday.. But just as I thought it would just be another boring day, something really huge happen in my vividly quiet world.

I have successfully avoided "him" for the past four months, I silently grieved the last time we saw each other and it was one of the hardest decision I had to make in my life.. letting the man I love slip away. But I made up my mind to finally put an end to a chaotic relationship that's absolutely going nowhere. It was time to say goodbye and we both knew it. But we really didn't have the courage to utter those words. So I silently moved away, hoping that the distance between us will make it easy for us to forget to each other.

I was doing fine for the past four months, I had survived without "him" in my life but today changed all that how could one glimpse of "him" shatter my frail heart? I've been preparing for this day, and I thought I was ready.. I thought I was strong enough but I was wrong because seeing "him" brought back a lot of unwanted emotions and confusions.

Saying goodbye is always difficult, I just hate it when things come to an end but just like the song "some good things never really last" and forever doesn't really exist. But what's more difficult is saying goodbye not only to the one you love but also to the dream of sharing of your life with a certain someone.

I guess some things are just not meant to be...

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4:48 PM | 4 comments




Originally from iRonnie Blog, He said:

Most people spend a considerable amount of time in customizing or in finding a desktop wallpaper that suits their taste. Sadly, our computers often remains personal.

Why don’t we brag to the world our good-find wallpapers and let them have a peek to our personality via our desktops?

I was tagged by the beautiful Marie and my blog mate Bluepanjeet...

Well, here's the view of my desktop:


As you notice I don't like to clutter my icons, no offense bluepanjeet ;) and if you're wondering the silhouette is me at my favorite paradise Boracay, taken a few years back.

Note: Copy Starts Here!

My Desktop Free View Instruction:

A. Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun. You can do a screen capture by:

[1] Going to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key).

[2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V).

[3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it.

B. Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of Icons, things like that.

C. Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.

Ems @ Just Let Go and Pieces of Me

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2:39 PM | 13 comments
Friday, September 21, 2007
I'm a bit busy today, got to bit the deadline and I'm off to the mall again tonight. I'm also excited to see some friends I haven't seen for awhile. I'll visit your blogs soon. In the meantime please participate in this poll, just want to know what you think. Thanks...

Have a nice day to all!

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10:41 AM | 6 comments
Thursday, September 20, 2007


13 True Meanings of Yearly Performance Review

1. Outgoing Personality ~ Always going out of the office

2. Good Communication Skills ~ Spends lots of time on phone

3. Work is First Priority ~ Too ugly to get a date

4. Independent Worker ~ Nobody knows what he/she does

5. Quick Thinking ~ Offers plausible excuses

6. Careful Thinker ~ Won't make a decision

7. Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs ~ Gets someone else to do it

8. Has Leadership Qualities ~ Is tall or has a louder voice

9. Keen Sense of Humor ~ Knows a lot of dirty jokes

10. Career Minded ~ Back Stabber

11. Loyal ~ Can't get a job anywhere else

12. Plans For Promotion/Advancement ~ Buys drinks for all the boys

13. Relaxed Attitude ~ Sleeps at desk


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10:58 AM | 18 comments
Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I had such a fabulous time today.

I've been really stressed out lately and after being sick for almost a week I figure there's only one thing that can really make me feel good and that is to go shopping.

Argh, the magic of buying shoes, bags, books and everything else I like I just had so much fun and I forgot all the miseries that I've been having lately.

Just being in the mall having coffee on the side really made this day wonderful. And it really made me feel relaxed and happy.

As I was browsing at the bookstore, they're playing Christmas songs already and I notice that they're starting to hang the Christmas decors *sigh* so the "ber" months are here and Christmas is just around the corner. I usually dislike all the festive but I don't know why I found myself singing along the Christmas carols and surprisingly enough I'm actually feeling happy about the holiday season, which is odd for me because I am usually grumpy and annoyed during the holidays simply because I always always have a bad Christmas. I can't really remembered if I ever had a happy one, it is usually tragic or something really bad will come up to ruin everything. But lately, the holidays has not been that bad anymore well, its not something that I could jump for joy but it was okay and I'm starting to like Christmas and hopefully I won't be feeling blue this time. And what I love most about Christmas beside the parties and everything its shopping for gifts.

You might notice that I've changed my layout and header for this blog, well, nothing much I just wanted a new look and I'm tired of the old one. This blog of mine just celebrated its third month last Sept.16 and I guess its time for change. Do you like it? Well, I know I do. I've been trying to avoid the color pink for this blog since my two other blogs (Dancing With Butterflies and Pieces of Me) are already in pink but what can I say I just can't hide it


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9:09 PM | 6 comments
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I was tagged by Yen and Francine, so here it goes...

1. 2 things you always bring in your bag (aside from wallet)
-Cellphone and kikay kit (beauty pouch)

2. 2 tv shows/telenovelas you love to watch
-Grey’s Anatomy (looking forward to watching the new season) and Ugly Betty

3. 2 soft drinks you enjoyed drinking
- Iced Tea and Lemon Juice

4. 2 magazines/books you love reading
- inspirational & fictional books (two are not enough)

5. 2 places/countries you love visiting or would love to visit
- go on a European Tour & explore New Zealand

6. 2 hobbies you enjoyed
- Blogging and shopping

7. 2 actors you would love to have a date
- oh my, Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom

8. 2 websites you never failed to open everyday aside from email and your own blogs/site)
- Friendster & Christian Woman Online (among other sites)

9. 2 fondest childhood memories
- Spending time with my late Lolo Ancho, listening to his World War II stories and when he carries me in his shoulders every time we walk from school.

- Playing with my deceased sister, I terribly miss her.

10. 2 scary incident/accident/instance that you will never forget
- When I was withdrawing from an ATM and a snatcher aimed his knife at me.

- Sept.26 when I got into coma stage and almost died.


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4:35 PM | 2 comments
Monday, September 17, 2007
Weekend Snapshot


This is my most favorite weekend getaway destination. I love going here and I've got a lot of wonderful even not-so wonderful memories in this place. Tagaytay is just less than an hour from my home. Taal Volcano is the smallest active volcano in the world and the scenic view is simply splendid. Way back in college, our Mountaineering Club sponsored a Taal Trek Adventure and we explored the craters in the lake, it was one of my happiest adventure ever.

It's time for Weekend Snapshot again.

View other participants here.

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11:00 AM | 19 comments
Sunday, September 16, 2007
“Praying is no easy matter. It demands a relationship in which you allow someone other than yourself to enter into the very center of your person, to see there what you would rather leave in darkness, and to touch there what you would rather leave untouched. Why would you really want to do that?”

~ Henri Nouwen ~

All of us have secrets. There are certain things that we would like to be kept in the dark, hidden from the judgmental world and to remain untouched. I'm not really a secretive person but there are certain things that I would like to be kept private. Even though I share some of my personal stuff and emotions through writing in my blogs, I still manage to keep some things to myself. And when it comes to pouring out my deepest desires and secrets, I can only entrust them to God. For I know that He alone can understand.

I was faced with this dilemma a few weeks back, a certain secret of mine was almost blown away and I am glad that God helped me get through all that.

Can you really keep a secret forever?

One way or another those secrets will find a way to reveal itself and to be out in the open.

And if anyone has asked you "Can you keep a secret?" What do these words do to you? Your heart may beat a little faster, what you're about to hear is meant for your ears alone. What is the real question behind "Can you keep a secret?" what you are being asked is "Can I trust you?"

What’s up for grabs could be either a bit of fascinating news or a piece of useless gossip. Or it could be that someone is entrusting his or her heart and feelings to you.

Are you worthy of the other person’s trust? Can you keep a secret—really?

You Don't Have a Big Mouth

In fact, you like to keep your life very private.
You figure that your personal life is
no one's business.

And if people try to pry,
they'll end up unsuccessful.

You're a big mystery to people -
and that's fine by you!
Do You Have a Big Mouth?

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7:11 PM | 6 comments
Friday, September 14, 2007
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I’m feeling a bit low these days and I’m not really in the mood for blogging. But something encouraged and made me smile today. I was awarded "Nice Matter's Award" by Arlene, having this award reminded me of how much I love blogging and it inspires me to continue spreading how God worked in my life through my illness and share my deepest thoughts and emotions to somehow touch somebody’s life.

I’m sharing this award to my two other blogs:

Pieces of Me and Dancing With Butterflies

I should be awarding this award too, but I can't do it today maybe later I'll give this one out to other bloggers who inspires and who has been nice to me.

Happy TGIF everyone!

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9:44 AM | 4 comments
Thursday, September 13, 2007
13 Proof That The World is Nuts

1. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

2. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

3. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

4. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)

5. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

6. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff?)

7. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

8. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did the govt. pay for this research??)

9. Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)

10. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

11. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

12. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)

13. Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(Do you think they have bad breath?)


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3:11 PM | 14 comments
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I'm still experiencing blogger's block and I'm just not inspired to write anything. I was going through old pages of my diary and found this entry almost five years ago and I just thought of sharing it...
~~~~~~~~

After I broke up with my ex boyfriend four years ago, I really thought that I have totally let go of him that I’ve finally accepted that it was really over between us. I was already doing fine without him. But I knew that a part of me still hasn’t forgiven him. I’ve gotten used to the fact that we weren’t together any longer and maybe we wont be anymore. And today I’ve finally said my final goodbye and truly forgiven him and myself. Now, I believe that time can really heal all wounds and today I’ve found healing by watching the man I used to love getting married to the girl I caught him cheating with, to the girl who ruined my two-year relationship with this man, to the girl I used to be friends with. For so long, I was so furious at them. Thinking fate was indeed so unfair to me. Why do they have to be happy while I felt so miserable? At that time, I just couldn’t understand it. I’ve spent two years of my life with this man, we even went as far as thinking we could spend the rest of our lives together. And I honestly thought, he was the one… Again, I was very wrong!

Today as I watched them exchanging their wedding vows, I was expecting to feel a little pain, a little hatred, a little disgust but amazingly enough all I could feel was absolute gladness… I am genuinely happy for them, now I knew why I was sent to him, so that he could meet that someone he was destined to share his life with. Everybody who knew that I was the ex-girlfriend was surprised that I even showed up, they're expecting me to make a scene, to shout in the middle of the ceremony and say “stop the wedding” but I was sincerely smiling all throughout and I just felt so good, that finally I have let go and had forgiven them.

After the ceremony, I greeted the newly-weds and kissed my ex goodbye. And he hugged me and said thank you, I saw the relief on his face, they both knew why I showed up into their wedding that I have totally accepted that we weren’t meant for each other and I had given them my forgiveness and my blessing. And now, he is just someone that I used to love and it felt great to actually know that I am completely healed by those wounds and the last chapter of that part of my life has finally ended. I am thankful that I finally had the closure I needed.

I always knew that everything happens for a reason. That God allows all the intersections and the humps in our lives to help us learn. I knew that somehow God has greater plans for my life. And the road that leads me to my path is just about to start. I wont lose track for I know that the light that guides me will never forsake me. I have loved and lost. I am uncertain of what the future holds for me but I know that it’ll be something wonderful. God after all is a God of true wonders.


Sept.12, 2002

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10:29 PM | 6 comments
Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Weekend Snapshot



Whenever I travel I see to it that I take with me snapshot of sunsets and marvel on the beauty that only God can create. One of my favorite thing to do is watching how the sun bids goodbye for the day. I know it may seem sad but I love sunset simply because it reminds me that as the day ends I have again overcome another day in my life and I have to admit that oftentimes it gives me comfort and relief. And I don't know why but it inspires the writer in me, most of my best writings were written as I was gazing the sunset.

This is my first post for the newly opened meme Weekend Snapshots I hope you can join with us next time. For more info go to this site.

View other participants here.

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12:20 PM | 13 comments
Sunday, September 09, 2007
It seems that my thoughts had been covered by clouds and I'm currently experiencing blogger's block that's why I'm just gonna borrow this article, my best friend gave me this book so that I may find it in my heart to love again (yeah right)...

Have a blessed Sunday and hopefully I can start writing again soon! :)

CHERISH YOUR CHOSEN ONE
By Bo Sanchez

Getting married is the greatest mistake anyone can ever make. Being wed is the height of insanity, the most ludicrous commitment, the most totally illogical decision any human being can fall into.

Tell me.... Why should I commit myself to be with one woman for the rest of my life - and thereby reject 3.2 billion (updated pa ba tong census na toh?) other females in the world?
Along the way, I'll meet a girl who'll be more beautiful, or more intelligent, or more charming, or sexier, or holier. So why nail myself down to one choice, permanently -- and suffer the agony of
simply watching beauties pass me by? And in western countries, one out of two marriages end up in divorce. That blows my mind. That's a pathetic 50% failure rate! I would never buy a car, a stereo, a shaver, or even a nail clipper if there was a 50% chance that it would conk out on me. I simply wouldn't.

And why stay with one person "in sickness or in health, in riches or in poverty, till death do us part"? Is my mind fried? If my shirt shrinks on me because I eat too many pizzas, don't I just throw it away and buy an XL? (That will be the day.) And if I outgrow my ancient computer,
don't I just look for an updated version?

And then there's the catastrophe some call kids. I mean, I don't really want to wake up in the middle of the night to entertain a self-centered, bald, toothless tyrant in diapers? Do I really want little rampaging monsters to break the most expensive furniture in my house? Do I really
want juvenile creatures to stay on the phone for six hours straight, listen to noise they call music that you believe came directly from hell, and mope around uncommunicative, catatonic, and depressed because another demented juvenile creature (a.k.a.boyfriend) hasn't called in the passed thirty minutes?

Why should I go through the torture? Marriage is insanity.

But....few years ago, on my 32nd birthday..... I gave myself a special birthday gift: I got married to a lovely woman -- and committed myself to insane living. Marowe is her name, the person I chose - out of 3.2 billion females (updated pa ba tong census na toh? ~replay~) . Yes, we now have a tiny tyrant that wakes us up at night, and in the near future, we will most likely have little monsters that will destroy our house during playtime, and creatures from outer space that we will call teenagers.

Why? (kung bakit sya nagpakasal)

For three reasons.

FAITH. We believe that God calls us into marriage. And if HE called us there, that means He'll be there to meet us. We will suffer all things- just let us be with our God.

HOPE. We confidently expect the best blessings -- immeasurably much more than all the hardship. God will bless us beyond our wildest dreams.

LOVE. Oh yes, there will be other females who'll be more beautiful, or more intelligent, or more this and more that. But they'll only be just that - females - like flowers in the field of a million
hectares of flower fields.

But not this woman - my Marowe - the one beautiful flower I have personally chosen, personally picked from her roots, personally planted in my own clay pot, personally watered everyday, personally watched every day, and personally loved every day. Because of my love for her, there will be no one like her. (kilig, kilig, kilig...) In my heart, she will eternally be the most beautiful flower of them all. Because in the end, there will be only be faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is.... LOVE.

(....at walang kamatayang WORLD PEACE...=))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. (eto yung susunod na kabanata pagkatapos ng pagpapakasal....)

~ Thoughts to ponder... ~

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and father had it, they had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from their branches they found that they were ONE tree and NOT two.

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11:25 AM | 6 comments
Thursday, September 06, 2007

13 Ways Women Sabotage Finding Love Again

So it's time to start dating again ... or is it? You think dating again is what you "should be" doing, but perhaps you're just not ready. Here is a list of the top 13 things women could do to potentially sabotage the starting over process.

1. Carrying too big a list.
While it's important to make sure that a potential partner shares important values, when a woman becomes overly protective of her heart, she may also become overly judgmental of a man. If she has not taken the time to heal her past, her checklist will disqualify her suitors.

2. Associating dating with sex.
Because she worries that she will be pressured into intimate relations, a woman is likely to avoid the situation completely. The wisdom is, "Date around, don't sleep around." Avoid the fear of getting hurt by saying "no" to sex, but not to dating.

3. Glorifying the past.
The tendency to compare each new opportunity often keeps a woman from moving forward.

4. Staying stuck in grief.
Holding on to her pain will keep her both safe and alone.

5.Not giving ourselves permission to love again.
The awful feeling that we are betraying our partner, especially if they have passed away, is one way that women close themselves off. She must recognize that letting go of her pain does not mean she has stopped loving him, but rather that she is able to feel the love.

6. Sleeping around.
Sometimes when women are starting over after painful loss, they're trying to repair low self-esteem caused by rejection from previous lack of affection.

7. Expecting immediate passion.
If she is expecting the earth to shake right away, and it doesn't, she may be turned off. In fact, the red flag should wave when she does feel intense attraction right away. She's responding to her idea of what his guy is like, not the reality.

8. Maintaining unrealistic expectations or over-romanticizing.
Between movies and romance novels, a woman may have the idea that a "real man" will come along if she waits.

9. Attracting the wrong type.
Because she is holding on to unresolved hurt from past relationships, she attracts people that repeat the pattern.

10. Focusing on the negative.
By remaining stuck in negative feelings about the potential hurt of past relationships, a woman convinces herself not to bother trying.

11. Becoming overly self-sufficient.
When she disconnects from her needs, and sends out the message that she doesn't need help, she is sabotaging her ability to attract a man into her life. Having needs is not the same as being needy.

12. Taking on too much.
Losing herself in taking care of others, and putting the needs of her family before her own. These are all additional ways women close off availability.

13. Fear to start over.
Afraid to move on and let go of the strongholds that's keeping them to get out there and start over.

Just get out there! It's time for you now. Move forward with careful thought and understanding about what you need. Realize that the mistakes and losses of the past are actually badges of wisdom to carry into your new life.

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11:47 AM | 17 comments
Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I'm not really feeling well and I've got a heavy burden that needs to be dealt with. And I'm not really that inspired to write anything so I'm just gonna share with you the first poem I wrote when I was only 13yrs old. Who knows, it might help me get back on track.


UNSPOKEN

You came into my life quietly… simply…
And the world stood still
I could not say a word
Not even a gesture show

So I loved you in silence
Worshipped you in a distance
Dreamt of you from afar
I wanted to say I love you
I wanted you to know I care

But I became afraid…
Afraid you can only laugh
In silence then, I will care
For in silence,
I found the fulfillment of my Unspoken love…

By: EmmyRose
062990

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11:16 AM | 4 comments
Saturday, September 01, 2007
It's a rainy Friday night and I really didn't have plans to go out. I was feeling a bit tired and I just wanna go home but my friends invited me over for dinner and of course, the endless chatting made me overlooked the time.

I hardly go out anymore and I know that I should but I guess I'm not yet up for it. I'm trying so hard to move on and forget about my broken heart but no matter what I do, everything just reminds me of him. Even tonight, when I was in the company of good friends and the "topic of him" was carefully avoided I still think of him. This is by far, the longest moving on since my first love and I find it rather strange because I usually mend a broken heart so easily but this time I'm way far from being healed.

Is it because somehow, things between us are left hanging and we really didn't have any closure?

I just hate the fact that I am once again in this situation, feeling confused and uncertain. I feel like I'm too old for this, I maybe successful in ignoring this emotion for quite awhile now but I guess, I cannot depend on time and just let things be. I have to do something, but I just don't know how...

I was in a 10-year relationship with my guy best friend and things between us are almost perfect, there was no doubt that we will end up marrying each other and what's nice about all these is the fact that he knows about my illness and he still loves me anyway. For so long, he was my "the one" and I'm happy with him, until someone came along and made everything so complicated. This someone was all wrong for me... But I can't explain that eerie feeling when I first met him, as if there was voice warning me to stay away from him because right there and then I knew that if I get to know him better, I'll fall in love with him... Stupid, right? And I don't even believe in love at first sight.

But I should have listened to that voice, but my stubborn and foolish heart has other things in mind. Since we were working on a same project, we started to hang out and became really close friends. Romance was the farthest from our minds, since we're both in a committed relationship. I can't exactly remember when I started to develop special feelings for him and at the moment that I started to feel like I'm falling for him, I tried to stay away from him but the farther I move away the closer we get. It was a rotten period in my life. I've always been faithful and I felt guilty for having "feelings" for someone else besides my boyfriend. And I kept telling myself I'm not cheating but in a way I feel like I am.

I was trying so hard to conceal my rising emotions towards the other guy and I was unsure about his real feelings about me, until that road trip we had in Quezon Province and that unforgettable night when he told me he was falling in love with me. At that time, I really don't know what to feel, I was happy yet feeling guilty at the same time. We both decided that it was wrong and we should just forget about it. But love has a sneaky way of finding its way...

It's almost 3am and I really should be sleeping now, there's still so much that I wanted to write about but I rather just sleep on it for now.

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3:13 AM | 5 comments